Day 5: Struggling

I'd be an untrue blogger if I only wrote about happy things and lied to you readers. That's not fair and I don't think that it is true to the integrity of what I'm trying to. My blog is meant to keep my friends and family informed about the lives of my little family here in Provo and I hope that I do that. I want people to see and know how we are feeling and what we are doing.

So today I'd like to talk about my children. Yes I know this is nothing new. But what I want to talk about is how unfairly blessed I think I've been and how ungrateful I've been today. Heavenly Father truly blessed my life by giving me three amazing children. I really couldn't ask for more than that and yet he never ceases to bless me. It's amazing to observe the amount of love that I receive from my three little children. And it's amazing to see how much love the exude towards others. I feel so honored to be there mother, though very inadequate. Today, I wasn't as patient with my darling daughter as I should have been. I snapped at her and was not very kind. And it took me a few minutes to apologize to her. I was in the wrong completely and utterly. And I feel terrible about it. Here I've been so blessed with amazing children and I go and snap at them. Talk about unfair! I don't feel as though I deserve my children. They are so good and most of the time I don't feel like I will ever measure up to the standard that I need to be at in order to be a good parent to them.

Sorry for being so depressing, but my heart wishes to much to be a good mother and I want to show my children how much I care about them. I hate it when I slip up and make mistakes and I know that I need to try harder to be better for. Some days, though, it can get under my skin and make me sad. Like today...