He's Here...

You knew it was coming soon enough...and sure enough my dearest little one decided to make his grand debut into the world this week. On Tuesday I had my non-stress test and and my regular doctor's appointment. I was still dilated 3 1/2 cm and the doctor did a sweep on me. Then as I went home my contractions started to kick in and become more consistent. I decided to see how things would go throughout the night and determine whether or not I was actually in labor. Well that night was awful. Contractions started coming harder and harder and by 4 in the morning I simply couldn't sleep anymore. I knew we needed to go to the hospital sometime in the day. We waited until around ten to go to the hospital and when I got there I was at 5 cm and still dilating. So they registered me and got me hooked up to monitors fast because I was in active labor at that point. Within an hour I had dilated a full centimeter and was making steady progress. And hour after that things sort of stalled and I was stuck at almost 7 cm for a few hours because my water hadn't broken yet. So they waited for the doctor to come and break my water and kept me on pitocin. But by the time the doctor was on his way I was starting to feel some pressure and told Jonathan that. When the doctor finally made it he was only going to break my water but then he realized that I was ready to deliver the baby and started laughing. So we started pushing...and after 5 minutes on Wednesday at 4:54 p.m. Hudson James Spooner was welcomed into the world. And he is such a treasure and I can hardly wait to get to know better!

We're down to the wire...

Yep, it's officially down to the wire for us. Yesterday I reached 37 weeks...which means that Hudson is now considered full term and he could be here any time. But more than that we know that we are literally down to the wire because of my most recent doctor's appointment this past Tuesday. During said appointment my doctor checked to see if there had been any "progression." And then he asked me when was the earliest I've delivered to which I responded "2 weeks." He remarked that it seemed about when I'd deliver this little guy as well. Apparently I'm already at 3 cm. and he could feel the baby's head (sorry if it's too much information!). So we're looking at expecting this baby sometime next week. It's scary and exciting at the same time and I don't feel prepared at all for it. But, ready or not, I have no choice! He'll be here when he's ready and not when I'm ready...which I'm not at all!

The Holidays...Family Life...Pregnancy...

Alright bear with me here. I haven't updated in awhile so this post could run rather long. Hopefully it won't be incredibly boring and you will actually enjoy reading it!

Firstly, it is officically the holiday season! We just celebrated Thanksgiving which was wonderful. My little family had a blast I might add. We took the kids to see the movie "Tangled" which was absolutely hilarious and adorable and I wouldn't mind going to see it again. Hannah truly loved it. She had been soon excited for weeks, and I mean literally weeks, about going to see this movie. That's all she would talk about, which is amazing. I didn't think that someone so small could remember something so often! We never reminded her of the movie either. She'd just mention it on her own.

Anyway, after the movie we came home and I made a lovely turkey dinner with stuffing and mashed potatoes and all those yummy things. Again the kids loved it. They gobbled (pun intended) down every bite and filled their little tummies with all sorts of goodies. It was great to see them so happy and it made me realize how truly blessed I am with the opportunity to have such a wonderful family. My whole family is just amazing. I have wonderful parents, siblings, and an amazing husband and children who brighten my life in so many ways. I am indeed so grateful for everything they bring to my life and I couldn't ask for a better family than the one I have.

And now we get to start celebrating Christmas! I think this is my favorite holiday of the year (it might be tied with Easter though). I really love the spirit of the season and the love that seems to just ooze from the world around me. And I've really gotten into the real spirit of the holidays this year! Today, for instance, the kids and I have been working on making decorations for our apartment. We decorated our stockings and I made a giant snowflake to hang in their room. And, tomorrow we will be working on finishing our decorations, and advent calendar. We will also be getting our tree soon enough and I am so excited to decortate that. I have been looking up some ideas to make some homemade ornaments with the kids and I think we'll try that tomorrow as well. I'll have to post pictures when everything gets sorted out!

And come Saturday we will put all this hard work together and decorate our apartment! The plan is for family home evening to get our Christmas tree, put that up and decorate it; get our Advent calendar on our wall with all our cool goodies; decorate our walls with all the things the kids and I are making and then later in the evening we will be going to the "Living Nativity" that is presented by our stake at the Historic Tabernacle. I'm really excited for all of this can't you tell?

And as for how my family is doing? Well they are simply amazing. I'm astounded by how much my kids are learning each day. Hannah and Liam are so smart and very articulate and it just astounds me at how curious they are. They love to grab things and figure out how things work and what they do. They also enjoy mimicking me when I cook or when we read scriptures and pray. Hannah has even gotten into the habit of reminding me when we need to do something. It's adorable. And as for Jonathan? He's doing wonderfully. Life is going well and work is running smoothly. We're just enjoying our time together and preparing for Hudson's arrival here in the next few weeks. And he's been such a patient guy whenever I have a meltdown or get overwhelmed. He is truly a blessing to me and I cherish every moment with him.

And the pregnancy? Well that's going splendidly as well. Hudson is officially head down, which is a relief. We don't have to manipulate him to turn and move to the correct position. He did that all on his own thankfully. And he's just as active as ever. He loves to kick me and wake me up at around four in the morning and he simply adores pushing down on my bladder...much to my dismay. And the non stress tests aren't so bad really. Everything is going well with him. He's a very active little guy and the tests so far have been really easy going for me. And as of right now he has enough amniotic fluid to flourish in my tummy and get nice and chubby! But despite the ease of my doctor's appointments, it's still kinda stressful for me. I have to start seeing my regular doctor every week starting monday as well as go to my non stress tests each week as well...it just is really time consuming, but I understand the necessity of such events. I just hope that everything will stay as easy-going as it has been these last few months.

Whew! What a post eh? Well I felt guilty for not updating sooner! I hope this insanely long spiel will content you for now. Sorry I don't have any pictures. I'll hopefully post something on Saturday from our adventures! But until then...

Let the Hectic-ness Begin

So, as I said before I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment this week...and of course I wait until now to update on how things are going with Hudson and everything as well as give you an idea of what I need to prepare myself for in the coming weeks!

Well the doctor's appointment went splendidly. We did another ultrasound and it showed that baby Hudson is growing nicely, though he's a little on the small side (not that you could tell that by looking at me!). My due date is still the 6th of January, though I get the impression that he will be coming here a little sooner than that. I'm anticipating around Christmas time, but we will see. And, the baby was head up, which is rather uncomfortable for mommy's ribcage and breathing in general. My humorous doctor told me that Hudson and I need to have a little chat to make sure that he cooperates and gets his head going in the right direction here soon!

And then the doctor got to the "exciting" news. He stated that starting next week I needed to go into the hospital and do non-stress tests once a week until I deliver this little guy. And what a non-stress test consists of is going and lying on a bed or table and having them strap a monitor to my stomach to measure the baby's heartbeat when he is resting and when he is active as well as when I have contractions. This test can take anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour. And, they will also be measuring the amount of amniotic fluid that is surrounding the baby to make sure that he has enough in there to be healthy. So, basically, it's another doctor's appointment. And, on top of that I will still have to continue to go and see my regular doctor every two weeks. So after next week I have two appointments! And then soon enough I will be going every week to my regular doctor as well as going to my non-stress tests...it's just going to be hectic for a little while!

But, despite how hectic things are going to be, I am just grateful that the baby is doing well and that he is happy and healthy and that soon enough I will get to meet him and hold him in my arms. It's so weird to think about how quickly this year has gone by and this pregnancy has just flown by! It's so hard for me to imagine that soon enough I will have another little baby in my life. But I will welcome him and cherish him and hopefully be the mother that he needs.

But that's all for now. This next week I anticipate relaxing and enjoying the holiday season as it gears up. And I hope that you do the same. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

32 Weeks, writing update, and family!

Well I've reached 32 weeks in pregnancy...sheesh that's an accomplishment eh? Well, at least I think it is. It's so strange to think that in a little over three weeks from today, I could be having a baby...that still just blows my mind. And I don't feel near enough prepared for this! However, it can't help but be excited to meet another little bundle of joy and I look forward to that event...even if it still does scare me a little bit.

This is me at 32 weeks...I felt kinda cute that day and decided I needed to update a picture for you.

Also, this month I've been working diligently to do my NaNoWriMo...and needless to say I've fallen rather far behind in it. Today I got an e-mail stating that it was the middle of the month and so I should be halfway to my 50,000 word goal...well I can assure you that I'm not even close to that. I've made it to over 12,000 words, whic is nothing to sneeze at, but I am determined to do so much better and hopefully get a large amount of words written this week. Though I will confess I'm a little frustrated with my novel right. My inner editor has a large list of things that I need to change about my story...but I'm trying really hard to supress the urge to go back and redo everything I've been working on. I just need to keep moving forward.

And the family? Well my kids are doing great! I've decided that Liam is going to be hitting a growth spurt here soon. He eats all the time! He's always hungry and I just cannot believe how much he consumes! He acts as though I don't feed him and is ravenous all the time. So I'm anticipating him growing a little bit here in the next while. And Hannah? Well, she's not growing quite as much, but she's just as cute as ever. I just trimmed her bangs and she loved all the "pretty" time she was getting...she also loves to put makeup on and get dressed up all cute. On Sunday both the kids got to wear their new church clothes and Hannah was so excited. She got a cute pink dress that has white trim around the sleeves and bottom. She kept saying that she was a princess. And she actually wanted me to do her hair. She ended up with pigtails and two little pink flowers on either side. She really looked so cute! And Liam looked so handsome. He got a lavendar shirt with a pinstripe suit and I combed his hair all nice for him. He thought it was wonderful and he looked amazing adorable.

And as for Jonathan and I? We're doing well. It's nice to spend our evenings together when he gets off of work and we try to make the most of the time we have together. We've played Phase10 which makes me so competitive (poor Jonathan doesn't understand my ruthlessness when it comes to card playing!) and it is a blast to play. We have been having a lot of fun together.

Well that's all I've got for now! I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to check on the little guy growing in my tummy and I think I start non-stress tests this week as well, but we'll see. I'll post again when I have more information to share on our ever expanding family!

Writing Update

For those of you who read only this blog and not my other writing blog, I decided to update you on how my NaNoWriMo is going. I am at over 7,000 words written so far which is wonderful, but still lagging behind where I need to be in order to complete the challenge of 50,000 words by the end of the month. Yes I  know it still sounds crazy, but I'm going to try and do it! Prayers and notes of encouragement are most welcome, might I add.

Also I've come to realize how much fun it is to simply sit down and write a novel without agonizing over it as much as I usually do. I know there are going to be many parts in this completed work that will annoy me profusely once I reread everything, but right now my main focus is simply on the task of writing the darn thing. I've told my inner editor to simply "shut up!" which is a good thing for me. I'm such a perfectionist that if I didn't tell the darn voice in my head that is hypercritical to stop talking, I know I'd never get anything done. So, my challenge for this month may not be the word count goal, but rather sticking to my guns and simply writing the ideas that are locked in my head out on paper and creating a story. There will be time for agonizing and editing after I finish the blasted thing.

Finally, here's a little post that I stole from the NaNo boards while trying to give my head a break from the imaginary land and characters that are stuck in my head. I hope it will make you laugh as much as I did.

Hi all,




For a while now there's been a tradition amongst the NaNo crowd what likes to kill things. We call it the Travelling Shovel of Death.



The rules are simple. In your NaNo, you kill somone. With a shovel.



It is named the "Travelling" Shovel of Death because, well, it seems to be everywhere. Characters are killed by shovels in droves as soon as their authors find out about this mystical shovel- whether their world has shovels or not. It seems to be infectious. I know a number of characters have died at unfair hands wielding a shovel in my novels, granting me many words to add to my wordcount.



Desperate for a few thousand words? Got a character you don't really like any more? The Travelling Shovel of Death is the solution for you!



Travelling Shovel of Death FAQs (stolen from yangnome, 2009)



What can I do with the shovel?

Use it as a murder weapon. Kill a main character, a supporting character, or even a background character.



What if I don’t like violent scenes?

Have the shovel show up bloody on the ground, or maybe just a body that has been beaten. You don’t need to describe the murder to use the shovel, though I’m sure it wouldn’t stop you.



Why use the shovel to murder someone?

Easy, it provides conflict. Conflict drives stories.



Couldn't I just use a gun or a knife, maybe a sword?

I’m sure you could. Personally, I haven’t seen any guns knives or swords traveling around from novel to novel wreaking destruction though. The shovel is something bigger than you or I. It is bigger than our novels. It is a weapon of mass destruction if you will.



What if I don’t want to use the shovel?

No one is forcing you. Don’t be surprised though if it pops into your novel. It popped into mine. Others who heard of the shovel couldn’t resist. Can you?



Does it have to be used as a murder weapon?

I suppose not, but the shovel has developed a taste for blood.



What do I do with the shovel when I am done?

Return it. Set it free so it can travel to another place, another land, maybe even another world.



I’m still not convinced.

Well, use of the shovel will provide you with words. Anyone could easily milk a small 1,000-word scene from the shovel. Those more talented could get more. Heck, I’d bet someone could even get a whole novel out of the shovel’s exploits.



Are there any rules regarding the use of the shovel?

No, but we would like to hear about its use. Post the fact that you send it here, and maybe the excerpt from its use.



This sounds silly. It couldn’t possibly fit in my novel.

Maybe you are correct. I don’t know what you are writing about. The first year the shovel visited me, I wasn't writing a silly novel and it fit in mine with little problem. TSoD does not discriminate based on genre.



Anything else I need to know about the shovel?

No. Well, don't turn your back on it.

31 Weeks...and Family Updates!

Sheesh the time is flying by! I can't believe I'm already 31 weeks into this pregnancy...it's astounding to say the least. But I'm grateful the time hasn't really dragged by and annoyed me...it will be exciting to meet this little guy soon.

At my last doctor's appointment everything was measuring perfectly, and I wasn't suffering from any complications whatsoever, a great relief to me I must say. Hudson is active and wiggly and keeps me up a great deal, but if he's healthy I won't complain...unless he sits in my ribcage (most uncomfortable I must say).  And I go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound and supposedly the non-stress tests will start that week too, though my doctor didn't mention anything this last week. We'll see then eh?

Also, this week Hannah has taken to potty training quite nicely. She seems really interested in going potty and doesn't like it if she has an accident. It's rather cute to see her react when she does have an accident. Hopefully we'll keep making progress in that area!

Besides that let me just say how adorable my daughter is. I know I talk about this pregnancy a lot and I tend to not mention the cuteness of my other two children. Let me just say that Hannah is such a sweetheart. She's so helpful and kind to her brother (most of the time anyway). She likes to be creative and dance and sing. She likes to say prayers with mommy which is so cute to watch. She's very talkative and loves to play games with her mommy. She is also obsessed with the Lord of the Rings trilogy right now (strangely) and loves to watch them all the time. She's a little princess and loves make-up and dressing up and having her necklaces on. She's my little princess and I love her dearly.

And as for Liam? Well he's growing like a weed! We bought the kids fuzzy pajamas and got Liam and 18 month size...well apparently he's decided to start growing more! While Hannah's fit her nicely, Liam's are already starting to get snug on him! I couldn't believe it. While they still fit him, I will have to go back and get him a bigger size! What a big boy I have! People comment all the time, whenever we go out, that my kids look like twins because they are so close in size. Poor Hannah is just a pipsqueak and Liam is my sturdy little linebacker...hehe...

And let me just say how much I love my little Liam. He's such an affectionate little boy. I love when he brings me his blanket and wants me to wrap him in it and cuddle with him. I love watching him try to dance and play with his sister. I love that he tries to help, even if it ends up with a giant mess for me to clean up. I love that he's trying to talk so much and be involved in everything. I love that he tries to stay neat and clean when he eats by wiping his mouth with a napkin. I love that he has four front teeth that he uses to gnaw into everything at the store (even if it is aggravating at times). And I certainly love the fact that he tries to take care of me when I have a bad day. He'll hug me and sing to me as I rock him. Ah, what would I do without him?

Really what would I do without my babies in my life? What would I do without their love and affection? They are such a treasure to me and I love spending time with them. I know that I have moments where I fall apart and get frustrated with them. But there are so many rich blessings that I've noticed that outweigh the anger and frustration. I am so grateful for my family :)

And So It Begins

First of all, forgive me if this post is rather random and unusual....and I mean even for me. But, there are thoughts swirling around in my head that I just can't seem to shake.

As of yesterday I reached 30 weeks in my pregnancy. What a milestone to be at already! And I confess that as I've reached this time in pregnancy, my fears and thoughts have centered on the coming few weeks and how close everything is. I've had my daydreams of course about this little guy: what will he look like? How much hair will he have? Will he be a happy baby? Will he have my eyes or Jonathan's? What will his personality be like?

But I've also had many fears and worries about this pregnancy and delivery too. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I"ve been dealing with a two vessel cord instead of a three. And while it hasn't been a big deal thus far, it's just got me paranoid and nervous (though I believe all mothers go through those feelings no matter how many times they've dealt with things). I've wondered if my baby will be healthy and how big he will be. Will he need any extra help during the delivery? Will labor progress well? Will he be safe?

And while I'm trying not to worry about things, I find that sometimes it's hard. When you're home with two little children, without someone there to convey your feelings to, it can sometimes become overwhelming. And to top it off I have fears about when I actually do go into labor...yes I realize that I'm paranoid, but it can't be helped! I fear that either Jonathan won't be home and my water will break and no one will be able to watch the kids for me. Or, that I'll go into labor and no one will be in the delivery room with me because Jonathan had to stay home and watch the kid. Or, that I won't be able to get a hold of Jonathan and my mom won't be able to make it up to be a support and I'll be alone in the delivery room with no family. And then there are the scenarios of going Christmas shopping and having my water break in the middle of the store! How embarassing!

And then my thoughts have wandered to the idea of not being a good enough mother. Will I be able to handle this little guy? Will I be the mother Heavenly Father wants me to be? Will I teach my children well? Will I show them the love they deserve?

Yeah kinda depressing isn't it? But I really need to not dwell on the all the what-ifs. I need to focus on preparing to be a mother and strive to keep Heavenly Father with me in thoughts and prayers. I'll need him these next few weeks as non-stress tests begin and the countdown winds to a close.

I just need to say how grateful I am for all the love and support I've received these last few months from dear friends and family. The encouragement that I've come to receive has been astounding and I'm so humbled by it and so grateful for it. Thank you so much for all that you have done for me. I love you all and am so appreciative of all you do for me.

Why Kaleigh Will Never Be a Dancer...

Alas, as hurtful as the title is, it is quite true...I Kaleigh, will never ever be a dancer. And for good reason I might add...though perhaps I'll let you be the judge:


1. The other day as I was putting the kids to bed, I turned and kicked my metal Eiffel Tower statue that Hannah had dropped on the floor. I succeeded in cutting my toe open.


2. I tripped the other day trying to go to bed and ran into our laundry basket. Though I wasn't harmed, it was rather embarassing for me.


3. Yesterday I ran into a piece of my blowdryer (yes I said blowdryer) and succeeded in cutting my other foot open...and believe me it hurt.


4. Today, I stepped on a prickly, pokey, piece of a plant from the tree in our front yard and got it stuck to my foot. I couldnt' get it off for a few seconds and proceeded to step on it more than once...all I can say is ouch!


5. Also today, I ran into my oven and splashed some hot water on myself...


6. And for my final performance today, I tripped over a shoe in our living room and ran into the couch.


Now you tell me if I should be a dancer or not....


I'd wager you are voting in the negative...and that's alright because I've come to realize that some dreams will never come true...hehe...or to phrase it better, some dreams shouldn't come true. Imagine me as a dance...this comes to mind:

Thinking...

Well this week seems to be flying by really fast...I can hardly find a moment to breathe! But in a good way I suppose...at least I'm staying busy. But despite all the busy-ness that I've been handling lately, I've also been afforded quite a bit of time to ponder and think about my life.

I had a doctor's appointment on Monday. It was the dreaded glucose test...*shudder* but I was also afforded the luxury, I suppose I should say, of having another ultrasound to check on little Hudson. Rest assured he is doing wonderfully and growing at a lovely rate...not to mention the fact that he is an extremely active little guy who loves to roll and kick and wiggle in my tummy...that's what he's doing right now...

And being able to experience pregnancy again started me thinking about my life. I admit this pregnancy was a bit of a shock to me when we first found out and I was nervous about how we'd make it through things, especially since we had agreed that we wanted to wait to have another baby...but it would seem the Lord had other plans in mind...and I realized quickly, that I was actually happy about welcoming another baby. And I've also come to realize just how much I need my children in my life. I need to see those delicate little faces with those big smiles and I need to be able to hold those tiny hands and kiss scraped knees. I need to cuddle my babies and clean up their messes...I need them in my life. And I think the Lord understood that...far better than I did when I first found out that I was expecting again...

Something else I've realized a great deal this week is how at peace I feel right now in my life. Things aren't always going perfectly and we have hiccups in our life and trials we need to face, but lately I feel so grateful for all that I've been blessed with. I feel so much peace and calm right now. I feel love from my friends, family, and my Heavenly Father. Thank you to all who have touched my life with your kindness and love. I truly and honestly cherish and appreciate you. This is what life is for and about...and I wouldn't change my relationships with you for anything...

Updating...

I haven't updated in a little while so I think it is time that I catch you up on all the dealings that I've been participating in as of late...
This past week I celebrated my 23rd birthday...sheesh that makes me feel old! hehe...but despite feeling old it was a rather good day. Briana watched the kids for Jonathan and I and I was able to be taken out to dinner by my loving husband. He, and Hannah, also baked me a birthday cake and decorated it, complete with princess candles. But other than that, it was a rather quiet day which was kind of nice. I was able to spend time with the people that I love. I was wished happy birthday by so many wonderful friends and family, and I just need to thank all of you for your love!

Later in the week, we did take the kids up to Thanksgiving Point to Cornbelly's Corn Maze and they had a blast there!


There were so many different things to do! The kids were able to climb on hay and wander around playgrounds. They also watched a pig show and we ate popcorn and watched people attempt to ride a mechanical bull. We even attempted the corn maze with the two little toddlers...and I am amazed and happy to report that we actually finished it 15 minutes faster than the estimated time it took! Hannah was our little leader and thankfully she has an excellent sense of direction, much like her father. And as a reward for their great maze exploration skills, Hannah received a princess crown and Liam a pirate hat. And by the time we got home, the children and I were completely exhausted! Liam even tried to put himself to bed! But I am happy that they had such a fun time and I will certainly take them back!
And, as for the future, the month of November will be a test of my sanity...

Call me crazy...in fact I'll do that myself...I do believe I can be considered quite crazy for attempting to do this...
Thanks to the encouragment from a friend, I am attempting to participated in NaNoWriMo...or National Novel Writer's Month...which consists of writing 50,000 words of a novel in the month of November alone...sounds insane doesn't it? But at the same time it sounds rather interesting. I mean how many people would agree to write 50,000 words in one month? I'm rather excited about it and really motivated to attempt to complete the challenge...
Something I've been debating, however, is whether or not to rewrite the whole novel that I have already gotten complete. That's something I will have to debate and mull over and finally decide on before November actually begins.
Something, that I have determined, is that I believe that my novel will end up being longer than the 50,000 words that are the "requirements" for the challenge. That being said, if I can get to that 50,000 mark and see how the novel is faring, all in the space of one month, then I will be in a good frame of mind! Wouldn't you agree?


All the same, wish me luck! I hope to keep my sanity this next month!

Introspective...

With General Conference this past weekend and the General Relief Society Broadcast the previous week, I've had a lot of time to sit and contemplate...sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Lately I've been thinking about my personal life: my relationships, my aspirations, my goals, my talents...anything that I can have an influence on or that can have an influence on me. The questions come to my mind: am I worth anything in this world? Do my peers and family see me as something of value? Do I hold any significance in the life I live and the relationships that I have? Have I had an influence for the better on my or would I hardly be missed if I were not there?

It's hard for me to answer these questions sometimes. Being a perfectionist, I very often see the faults in myself glaring back at me. I can pinpoint every failure and every mistake that I make in my life. I can recall each time that I've been less than what I should be, or what I expect myself to be, which is perfect. And that's a hard line to tread.

Many times I've felt like a bad mother and wife. I don't always show patience towards my spouse and my children. I don't feel as though I've done my part to take care of them to best of my abilities. I make mistakes and I know when I'm not in tune with the spirit of the Lord. Many times I've also felt like a disappointment as a friend and daughter. There are so many times when I've felt as though I've let someone down or I haven't done everything that I could have to help another. I often times feel as though I haven't measured up to beauty and example of the Savior.

I know for certain that I will never be perfect. I know that I can never attain that in this life and sometimes it is hard for me bear. But recently, in talking to my dear friends, family, and listening to the sweet message from the Prophet, and in my own personal study of the scriptures and in my prayers my heart has been touched and softened towards myself. I realize that I'm my harshest critic. I expect so many things of myself and when I don't live up to those expectations I feel like a failure. And this is Satan working to bring me down and discourage me from striving to be better. Some days he succeeds and I have moments where I break down and sob. But many days, I grab a hold of the Lord's teachings and I cling to the knowledge that he loves me, and somehow, things are okay and I feel a sense of peace.

Something that struck me recently was the statement that one of the church leaders gave. He stated: "The Lord doesn't expect us to be perfect. He doesn't expect us to never make mistakes. All that he expects of us is to strive to be our best and then he will be there for us. He will bless us and he will make up the difference."

Those words are so powerful! I need to have the faith that my Savior really is there for me. I'm no less important than anyone else in this world. I do have a purpose and I do have the opportunity to feel the love of the Lord in my heart. He can take my pain and my burdens and all my imperfections and help me. If I but have the faith. FEAR is the opposite of FAITH.

And I noticed that so many of the talks during conference were about faith. We all need more faith. We need faith to overcome trials in our lives. But, we also need to have faith to overcome our frail, human feelings of insecurities and dispair. We need to have faith to overcome the cunning words of Satan, for that is what they are! Satan works hard to bring us down and discourage us. My bishop stated it this way: "So many times the sisters of the church work so hard in their lives and strive to do so much and it is astonishing. But, I never realized that Satan is sitting on your shoulder whispering: you could have done better; you aren't good enough; you could have done more; sorry it will never be enough."

I have made the committment to strive to look to the Lord more; to increase my faith and cast off my fears. To trust him more and strive to be a better person each day. I have made the promise to not become discouraged when I find myself falling short of my goals and understand that I will not be perfect, but if I strive to do all that I can, that the Lord will bless me and I will have a increase in peace and comfort from him. If I seek him, I know that he will guide and direct me in all things.

I am so grateful that I have a connection such as that to hold onto. I am so thankful for all the many friends and family who act as the Lord's angels and bring me such comfort and joy. I am thankful for the blessings that have been poured out upon me so freely. I feel so much love and gratitude for the joys of my life and I feel so honored and blessed to have been given the opportunity to be a daughter, sister, wife, mother, and friend. I love each and every one of you who have touched my life and have helped me to become the person I am today. Thank you for your love and support. I love you all and appreciate who you are and what you have done for me.

THE MASTER TOUCH
DISCOURAGED AND ALONE, WE'RE NOT EASILY CONSOLED


THE SCHOOL OF LIFE GETS DIFFICULT, JUST AS WE WERE TOLD.
 DOUBT SHRINKS US AT THE THRESHOLD OF THE DARKENED WAY,


DESPAIR CREEPS IN UPON US AND IS HARD TO KEEP AT BAY.
 LIGHT NOW DIMS AS THE SHADOWS GROW IN LENGTH


HEAVINESS ENGULFS US; WE STOP TO PRAY FOR STRENGTH.

IT SEEMS WE'RE GOING NOWHER; LIFE'S A DEAD END STREET,


RELIEF IS WHAT WE PLEAD FOR, WHEN IT ALL FEELS LIKE DEFEAT!

THE FUN HAS DISAPPEARED; DROPPING OUT IS ON OUR MIND,


THE TEST HAS OVERWHELMED US, THE ANSWERS HARD TO FIND
 IN THESE TRYING MOMENTS WE MUST STOP AND BE SO STILL


THAT WE CAN FEEL HIS PROMPTINGS AND KNOW THAT THEY ARE REAL

ONLY THEN CAN WE BE READY TO SENSE THE MASTER'S TOUCH,


TO KNOW HE'S ALWAYS THERE AND THAT HE LOVES US VERY MUCH!

HE KNOW JUST HOW WE FEEL HE'S BEEN THIS WAY BEFORE,


HE'S ALSO CLIMBED THESE STEP HE'S WALKED THIS CORRIDOR

HE IS OUR TENDER TUTOR SENT HERE TO BE OUR GUIDE,


ALL WISDOM OPENS TO US WHEN HE IS BY OUR SIDE.

EARTH'S HALLS ARE NOT SO DIM WHEN THE MASTER LIGHTS THE WAY,


HE REVEALS A "WORLD OF WONDER" THAT BRINGS JOY THROUGHOUT OUR STAY.

HAND IN HAND HE'LL LEAD US TO A LIFE THAT NEVER ENDS,


TO A BRIGHTER DAY IN A WORLD UNSEEN, TOGETHER ETERNAL FRIENDS.






COPYRIGHT GREG OLSEN 2010

An Update of Sorts...

Alright, I've got a lot on my mind that I simply should just write down so that my brain won't seem so frazzled. So here I sit updating my blog...


First things first: I need to update things about my life!


Item 1: I cannot believe that I am almost 24 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy has just flown by and I can barely fathom the fact that soon enough I will have another little baby in my arms. Honestly sometimes it scares me. I don't feel like the best mother at times and often I have meltdowns at night when I'm lying in my bed.  I don't exactly feel adequate to be a parent to so many wonderful spirits, but for some reason Heavenly Father has seen fit to bless me with another little tyke to chase around and play with. I keep praying for the strength and understanding that I need in order to be the best mother that I can be.


Item 2: I was able to visit my mother this past week and it was delightful. I really missed seeing her and spending time with her. Right now she has a lot to deal with, and when I was down there my children were not the happiest of people. They were constantly making messes and getting into things. But if you know my mother, you know that she has the patience of a saint. I could hardly believe how well she was taking things with my little monsters. And then, we went to see my brother play in his high school football game and when we arrived home, at half time (They were losing terribly) my mother's entire house was flooded! A  literal waterfall of water was falling from the upstairs through the ceiling and into the livingroom. There was at least 2 inches of water on the floor on both levels. And while my mother did freak out a little bit, she remained relatively calm about the whole situation. And after we figured out the reason why her house was flooding, wee were able to sit down and kind of laugh about the whole situation. To me that is such an example. Instead of looking at all the negative things that had happened, my mother took charge and realized that since there was nothing she could do to change the situation, she may as well look on the bright side of things. So she gets to remodel her bedroom, the upstairs bathroom, hallway, Jacob's room, the entire living room and dining area, and of course the kitchen and the formal dining room. Quite a lot of projects, but I know my mom is up to the challenge!


Item 3: If you know me, then you  know that I have a deep passion for writing and reading and being creative. But, if you know me, then you also know that my imagination is extremely vast and unusual at times. While this can be a blessing when it comes be being creative in writing, it can also be quite confusing and cause my mind to contemplate strange ideas and thoughts for hours on end. For instance, lately I've been suffering from a severe case of writer's block in regards to my novel. The thoughts are just sort of locked away in my head and it is indeed aggravating. And as I was thinking about this last night before I fell asleep, I mentally made the wish that my imagination would kick into high gear so that I could continue writing my book. Well, my wish was granted, but not in the way that I expected! Last night I had the strangest, and yet most thought provoking of dreams. I was dreaming about the Second Coming oddly enough. Now this isn't the first time I've dreamt about such an event, but my dreams are nothing like the actual event will be. This dream took place in my parent's home (which looked nothing like it truly does) and at Dixie State College. Through various clues (much like National Treasure) I somehow managed to find the key to a closet in my parent's bedroom that held a tree. Now this tree was one of the "signs" of the second coming and in order to awaken it you had to sing "Praise to the Man" and slowly the eyes of the tree in the closet, as well as the trees surrounding the house, came to life. Their eyes opened, and a smile appeared on their bark (this reminded me of Lord of the Rings). And then all these trees disappeared into Heaven and I went to find my parents to inform them of the signs that were starting to appear. We ended up at Dixie and though I tried to explain everything to my parents they did not believe me. I showed them to key and while they were curious about how I found it, they didn't think that it opened the closet in their bedroom where a tree had been living. They stated, "trees don't grow in closets." So no one believed me that the signs were all appearing. That's when I woke up.


Now I realize that this dream is a very very odd one. I won't disagree with you on that. And it caused me to sleep very poorly (in addition to the fact that Liam did not want to sleep last night). And while the dream was strange I began to think about it from a gospel perspective. How many of us will actually recognize the signs fo the Second Coming? How many of us are prepared to recognize the signs? And when Christ comes again, how many of us will realize that he is among us? Will we even care or will life simply "continue on" for us? Will we doubt our testimonies and our faith when it matters the most? While the dream was a strangely random one, it provoked me to ponder the gospel and the meaning behind my faith and testimony. It made me question my own preparedness. But it also brought me a level of peace I didn't know I was seeking. For some strange reason I felt a deep sense of calm come over me and the impression came to my mind that Heavenly Father knows me. He knows my individuality and he loves me for who I am. I may not be perfect, but he is still there to guide me and watch over me. And in his eyes I am a beautiful daughter of God. Despite all my faults and flaws, he doesn't expect me to be anything other than who I am. Even though I desperately want to be perfect for him and I beat myself up about my shortcomings and mistakes, he still loves me. He has more compassion on my soul than I do!


And I suppose that's what my subconscious was trying to tell me in my insanely random dream. And it has made my heart feel so at peace. And if that's not what my subconscious was trying to tell me, then the simply fact remains that I am simply a crazy lady with an extremely overactive imagination. What say you? :)

Wonders of Pregnancy...

As indicated in my last post, I was having some major stress issues in my life with our little guy. And today things have finally come to an understanding. Yes our baby has only a 2 vessel cord and this only happens in about 1% or pregnancies. However, the ultrasound that the doctor performed indicated that growth and development are right on track. It also indicated that my baby boy is a very active, wiggly, stubborn little munchkin who, like his older siblings, doesn't seem to like to listen to doctors! He would constantly kick and wiggle away from the ultrasound, making it humorous and aggravating for the doctors. They even commented on how active this little guy is. But if you've met my other two darling children, you'll notice the pattern and it's not surprising.

So what does this mean for us?

With a two vessel cord, they've ruled out that the baby will have any neurological or heart conditions, which is a huge relief! The doctor quite bluntly stated that everything looks normal and healthy and he's not concerned at all with how the baby is developing. However, there is still the possibility with the baby struggling to grow properly towards the end of the pregnancy, resulting in a lower than average birthweight. All of this because of the two vessel cord. This may also increase the risk of still birth.

So what's the plan?

The plan that the doctor prescribed would be to do ultrasounds every 4 weeks from now until I deliver. And then he also suggested that once I hit 32 weeks that I go in for non-stress tests every week until I have this little guy. He feels confident that the precautions will help us to monitor any dangers in the baby's growth should they arise, though he only predicts a happy healthy pregnancy and a normal and happy delivery for us.

And so that's where we stand right now. The only change to my pregnancy will be to have more monitoring and keeping better tabs on our little guy. But, I can't complain. My baby is healthy and happy and very very active...and that's all that truly matters in the end.

The Goings On of the Spooner Family...

Alright, I'm updating! Yay me right? Haha...anyway I digress and ramble far too often, so here is a coherent update of sorts. Life has been pretty quiet for the most part. My brother Dan just graduated from bootcamp this past weekend! I'm so happy for him and his determination to stick out the tough parts of the Army. He's pretty awesome in my book and I really admire him for his dedication to become someone better each and every day! He's amazing and I love him so much! Here are a couple of pictures of his graduation and the aftermath of being in Oklahoma for the whole summer! He's really slimmed down and become toned! Sheesh! I just feel like I'm getting fat!

I pretty much miss this kid!

Dan is the one in the glasses. I'm so proud of him!

Also, I've been really trying to be more and more patient with my children. There are many days when I walk into their bedroom and things are scattered all over the floor and Liam is missing his diaper and covered in unpleasant things, but I'm learning that anger and frustration will get me no where but laughter will lighten the situation a whole lot! So that's what I try to do: just laugh and the situation clean the mess up and give my kiddos hugs and kisses. I've really come to appreciate the gift that my children are to me. They really represent the Lord's trust in me and often that brings me to tears when I'm feeling down about myself. I don't consider myself to be the most amazing mother or anything extraordinary, but I do feel a sense of joy in the knowledge that the Lord trusts me enough and loves me enough to bless me with 2 beautiful spirits who are so full of life and joy and laughter. They really do brighten my days.

Such a happy little munchkin!

My precious little princess

And on Monday this past week we had our ultrasound and found out some interesting things. For one things we will be blessed to welcome an amazing little BOY to our lives. So I have two little handsome guys to chase around! I'm rather excited and we have a name that we both really like thanks to my fabulous mother's ideas: Hudson James...how does that sound? I rather like it and I'm excited about things.


There is however a slight issue going on right now in this pregnancy. I'm not trying to worry about things, but it is still a bit nerve wracking for me. Apparently, during the ultrasound, Dr. Anderson noticed that the umbilical cord only had two vessels instead of the normal three. He wasn't 100% sure on whether or not the cord was only a two vessel cord, but he seemed fairly certain. And as he was talking to us, he stated that a lot of times this sort of thing could mean that there are problems with the baby's heart and development. So of course that freaked me out, but he kindly explained that his findings really didn't show that there was anything wrong with the heart and that I shouldn't worry. However, he did ask a perinatal specialist to do an ultrasound of the baby's heart and major organs and the umbilical cord this coming Tuesday.


So of course as soon as I got home I started to research this two vessel cord issue. And while Doctor Anderson was kind enough to explain the issues that may arise with our baby, he was also correct in telling me not to worry so much. A lot of what I've noticed and read states that this Single Umbilical Artery, as it is called, happens in 1% of women and most of the time there is no medical issue to worry about and that you will deliver a healthy baby. There are however many issues that could arise such as early delivery, miscarriage, growth retardation during pregnancy and so on.


There are many things that could possibly go wrong with this pregnancy. And it's really weird for me to comprehend everything especially when my other two pregnancies were so normal. But, like they say, no two pregnancies are alike and I have this feeling that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. And I'm trying to remain happy and upbeat about life. Though, I do admit, I will feel much better after Tuesday's appointment. Whatever the outcome, however, it is in the Lord's Hands.

20 Weeks Pregnant as of 8/19/10

I am grateful for the Gospel and the love that I feel right now from the Lord. I know that he has blessed my family immensely and I feel so humbled and loved by him. I don't know why he blesses us so greatly but I cherish everything he has bestowed upon us. And come what may, I will learn and love it. I will move forward in his kingdom and hopefully meet him face to face once more. I am so thankful for the friends and family that I have to support and sustain me when I have meltdowns and bad days or whenever I just need someone to talk to. I feel so honored to be in the presence of so many great people and I often feel inadequate compared to their goodness. I love all of you my dear friends and family. You mean the absolute world to me. And Heaven will not be Heaven if you are not there.

The Hand of God

Isn't this an amazing picture? It's called the Hand of God (for obvious reasons) and it has brought a whole new level of thoughts to me lately. Today didn't start off on a good note for us around the Spooner household. My children have been kind of ill with colds or a touch of the flu or something and today they decided they wanted to be up at 6:30, much to my dismay. So I've been up for hours and hours and I will admit that I was rather cranky about the fact that I haven't been sleeping well. The last few weeks have resulted in a severe lack of sleep. Not because of any outside force, but because of nightmares and insomnia because of my overactive imagination. Now these nightmares weren't anything rational, but they did cause me to stir into wakefulness several times at night, resulting in a restless sleep. But today I was so hoping to get a bit more rest and obviously that didn't pan out. But as I've gone throughout this day I've tried to remember how much I am thankful for and for the blessings that have been soon readily poured out upon my family. And I've found that as I focus more on that, my mood is significantly improved...even after Liam took his diaper off and smeared unpleasant things over his bed.

And as I was on a friend's blog, a watched a youtube video about our lives and how we can be better. One thought that struck me was when it was stated that the Lord knows that we aren't perfect. My heart lurched at that and I felt so loved! And so humbled and blessed at the same time. The hand of God has been so vividly shown in my life that I would be foolish not to acknowledge it.

Slacker Blog Fail....

I can see that I haven't posted on here for a long time...and it's not that things haven't been exciting or entertaining or anything like that. It's simply because I've been so busy doing all sorts of different things and chasing after children that I've sort of neglected this blog. But, I make the promise that I will try to update more often and hopefully with pictures. I still haven't really figured out my whole camera connecting to my new computer thing yet, but I hope to. Then you can see all the pictures I've taken over the last few months! That'd be good right?


I'm going to keep this post rather short because I still need to finish cleaning the living room and then making sure my son hasn't disposed of his diaper in his bed and is standing there naked...yes he actually does that...but I will leave you with some thoughts that I've had over the last few days.


Thought 1: The Lord is a good guy; Yes I realize that many of you may think the way I say this is humorous, but it's the truth none the less. He's an amazing guy and a great and wonderful example for us to follow. And I feel so many blessings that he has showered upon my family recently and I am so humbled and feel so inadequate to receive such gifts from him.


Thought 2: Children were born to make messes. This I've learned from experience. My children have this drive within them to make a mess out of whatever clean room I've spent time working on. I've gotten the living room cleaned three times in one day only to turn around for one minute and have my living room looking like it did before I even bothered trying to clean it in the first place. However, it is amusing to watch my children play with all the toys I just put away and it makes my heart melt to see them so happy...so I suppose the mess it worth it? I like to think so most days.


Thought 3: Family is Forever! Yes another cliche' saying for you but it's so true and I'm grateful for that understanding. I'm glad that I have the knowledge that my family can be with me together forever. It makes me want to be a better person so that I have that right bestowed upon me. I want to be there forever for my children and my mother and father and siblings and aunts and uncles and husband...and well everyone that I've never met in my family! Even my in-laws and all their family. To have that ability is a great joy and comfort to me and I feel so honored and blessed to have it in my life.


Finally, I'll leave you with the suggestion to read the words to Hymn 6 "Redeemer of Israel" specifically verse 5. It really struck me yesterday and I thought I'd share it with you. I hope that you feel the same inspiration that I do from it.


Love Ya Tons faithful friends and readers!

LDS.org - Liahona Article - Canaries with Gray on Their Wings

LDS.org - Liahona Article - Canaries with Gray on Their Wings

Changes

Well it's official. We are moving back to Provo. And it will be within the next two weeks too! Talk about stressful. I'm heading back to BYU to finish my schooling and so back to Provo we go. While I am happy to finish at BYU, there is a part of me that is sad to be leaving my mom. I love her so much and am so grateful for her love and support. She means the world to me. So we shall see how everything goes from here. All I can do is keep Heavenly Father in my heart and as the center of my home and everything will work out.

In The Home Stretch

Whew! I'm almost done! I'm so happy to report that I am almost done with my semester. I have four papers, three major exams and various quizzes under my belt. I just need to get two more short papers, various internet assignments and even more quizzes done all by Thursday. Let's pray I can get it done! After that I'll be sure to post far more often and with more content.

Just thought I'd leave that little note for ya!

-Kaleigh

P.S. Three days until my anniversary!

Changes...

Well I thought I'd throw in a quick little note while I had the moment to do so. I've been so busy with the end of the semester that I haven't even had time to breathe. But that's alright. I'll be done soon enough!

Sooo on the subject of change I have some interesting news. We are moving back to Provo. BYU is calling...I need to go back. I miss being up there a great deal. Don't get me wrong though. I'm having a blast down here in Kanab, but I need to finish my education and being at BYU is the best option for me. I just hope that everything works out for the best. I'll keep praying that things run smoothly.

That's all I have to write for now. I'll hopefully post again soon!

I'm getting ready for bed...sigh...didn't get too much done today. But I shall not lose hope. I need to keep writing and working and striving to get everything done! Wish me luck!

And update for February and March...I'm lazy~

Well I know that I haven't really updated anything these last few months and I did that for a very specific reason. You see it was just so hectic that I didn't have time to update everything that happened when it happened so I decided that I would update this blog once everything was over and done with. And it finally is over and done with for now. Does that even sound logical? I thought it did, but I'm also slightly crazy, so I can't really make that judgment call there. Haha... So here are my updates for you! And I even have pictures, but I'll have to post them next time because I can't find my SD card! Blah! I promise to hunt them down and post them as soon as I can.

The first thing I am going to update you on is that my darling husband, Jonathan, celebrated is 25th birthday on the 20th of February. We had a lot of fun celebrating the special day with him. We didn't exactly spend his birthday doing fun stuff. It was more like the whole week leading up to his birthday! But it was lots of fun!

The next thing I wanted to share is that I had the opportunity to go up to Provo to see my dear friend and old roommate, Heather Hawkins, go into the MTC on her mission on the 24th of February. She will be serving in Australia and I couldn't be more happy for her. She seemed really excited to be going and I will keep her in my prayers as she goes off on this exciting adventure. I was also able, at that time, to visit with many friends that I haven't seen in quite some time because we had a little party for Heather. It was a lot of fun. But I was also able to spend time with Jamie, outside of the party for Heather. We spent a few hours together and her son James and my little Liam played together which was a delight to watch.

Still another update is that also on the 24th it was my baby boy's very first birthday! Once we got home from Provo I made him his very own cake. He just loved it to pieces; literally. It was so fun to watch him attack his cake and shove it in his mouth and just make a huge mess. And then he inspired us to all get into a cake fight, which was hilarious to say the least. There was chocolate cake everywhere! It was a blast and it made me happy to see my little guy have so much fun!

And yet another update is that on the 1st of March we celebrated Hannah's second birthday! She was born on Leap Day and I know that she doesn't have a birthday for a couple more years technically, but it was fun to celebrate with her. Now Hannah was a little bit more dainty about her cake. She ate it just like a big girl, and still managed to get some chocolate everywhere on her face. And she opened her presents which consisted of quite a few princess items. She even got a Tinkerbell costume, which she loves, even though it doesn't fit her! Hopefully she'll grow eventually to fit into normal clothes!

And as for the month of March There are things to tell. For one Jonathan and I were supposed to go to Nauvoo on a vacation, but because of the weather we ended up staying in Utah and going back up to Provo just this last little weekend. It was a nice little getaway even though we didn't really get to visit with any friends. We had fun just relaxing and spending time together. Also, we've been spending a lot of time getting our apartment all figured out and organized, though the kids come right behind me and mess it up again. It gets aggravating at times, but hopefully one day things will finally be put together! Then, we've been working on getting all of our homework done in preparation for finals. Sometimes I feel a little bit stressed right now about getting everything done, but if I just keep my chin up and focus on working my hardest things will work out. I keep praying for the best. And I've gotten a 94 on my midterm for my art class which is encouraging. I just need to keep plucking away and praying and praying that it all works out!

And on another happy note, my dad was able to come home for Easter! It's so nice to see him for a few weeks. I know that he's enjoying his time here as much as we are having him.

Whew that was a long post for ya! I probably could write more too, but I'll refrain until the next post. I shall hopefully have my pictures located and posted. And I will elaborate on General Conference! Then you'll read more of my ramblings. But until then I shall bid farewell.

The Lazy Housewife...

Yep that's me! I'm a lazy little ducky aren't I? I haven't posted in such a long time! I've even skipped the entire month of January...sad day!

Well things here have actually be quite interesting, but a littler personal, so I shall spare you on the details of that. But it's be fun and exciting and I am just sitting here marveling at the wonder that is my life.

For instance I cannot believe that my Daughter Hannah is almost 2! And I absolutely cannot believe that my son Liam is almost a whole year old! It's just mind boggling! What on earth have I been doing for the last two years of my life? It seems as though it's just flying by! But that's alright. I've been married for almost three years now and I'm enjoying the little experiences that I am having lately.

Another thing that I've noticed is that I don't take enough pictures! I need a new camera and I promise that I will take more pictures. Believe me when I say that I love taking pictures. I may not like my picture being taken but I certainly love being a part of the picture taking process. I'm actually contemplating getting my family's pictures done again this year, you know to preserve in record their amazing cuteness. I actually want to get pictures of them each year around their birthdays to show how they grow. I've actually imagined the pictures lining the wall of our house going up the stairs...ahhh...so cute! Hehe...anyway I ramble too much!

Another thing I noticed is that I'm completely obsessed with writing. I've been stuck with these characters in my head having conversations and I keep dreaming about little scenes in the book. It makes for interesting dreams and unique thoughts to take over, especially when you need to focus as a mommy...hehe, but that's okay! I hope to get these thoughts untangled and into a cohesive book! That's the goal people! Hopefully I can get it done right? ;) And if you are interested in what I'm writing, just go to my writing blog! I have the link on this blog if you are interested. Just thought I'd throw that out there! Hehe...

And finally what I've noticed is that I absolutely, completely, undeniably, and forever will love my family. I love how sweet and caring they are and how amazing I feel when I get hugs from the little arms of my precious babies. I love the spontaneous gestures of love that Jonathan shows me and I am very grateful that I have the blessings of the temple in my life. It puts things into a better perspective for me. I am very thankful for everything that I have received.

Well that's all I really have to post right now. Maybe in my next post I'll let you know about how well we did on our talks! Hehe...Anyway have fun and know that I care about you! Oh and if you want Jonathan to actually post anything, perhaps you should nag him! Usually he leaves the writing up to me!