An Update of Sorts...

Alright, I've got a lot on my mind that I simply should just write down so that my brain won't seem so frazzled. So here I sit updating my blog...


First things first: I need to update things about my life!


Item 1: I cannot believe that I am almost 24 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy has just flown by and I can barely fathom the fact that soon enough I will have another little baby in my arms. Honestly sometimes it scares me. I don't feel like the best mother at times and often I have meltdowns at night when I'm lying in my bed.  I don't exactly feel adequate to be a parent to so many wonderful spirits, but for some reason Heavenly Father has seen fit to bless me with another little tyke to chase around and play with. I keep praying for the strength and understanding that I need in order to be the best mother that I can be.


Item 2: I was able to visit my mother this past week and it was delightful. I really missed seeing her and spending time with her. Right now she has a lot to deal with, and when I was down there my children were not the happiest of people. They were constantly making messes and getting into things. But if you know my mother, you know that she has the patience of a saint. I could hardly believe how well she was taking things with my little monsters. And then, we went to see my brother play in his high school football game and when we arrived home, at half time (They were losing terribly) my mother's entire house was flooded! A  literal waterfall of water was falling from the upstairs through the ceiling and into the livingroom. There was at least 2 inches of water on the floor on both levels. And while my mother did freak out a little bit, she remained relatively calm about the whole situation. And after we figured out the reason why her house was flooding, wee were able to sit down and kind of laugh about the whole situation. To me that is such an example. Instead of looking at all the negative things that had happened, my mother took charge and realized that since there was nothing she could do to change the situation, she may as well look on the bright side of things. So she gets to remodel her bedroom, the upstairs bathroom, hallway, Jacob's room, the entire living room and dining area, and of course the kitchen and the formal dining room. Quite a lot of projects, but I know my mom is up to the challenge!


Item 3: If you know me, then you  know that I have a deep passion for writing and reading and being creative. But, if you know me, then you also know that my imagination is extremely vast and unusual at times. While this can be a blessing when it comes be being creative in writing, it can also be quite confusing and cause my mind to contemplate strange ideas and thoughts for hours on end. For instance, lately I've been suffering from a severe case of writer's block in regards to my novel. The thoughts are just sort of locked away in my head and it is indeed aggravating. And as I was thinking about this last night before I fell asleep, I mentally made the wish that my imagination would kick into high gear so that I could continue writing my book. Well, my wish was granted, but not in the way that I expected! Last night I had the strangest, and yet most thought provoking of dreams. I was dreaming about the Second Coming oddly enough. Now this isn't the first time I've dreamt about such an event, but my dreams are nothing like the actual event will be. This dream took place in my parent's home (which looked nothing like it truly does) and at Dixie State College. Through various clues (much like National Treasure) I somehow managed to find the key to a closet in my parent's bedroom that held a tree. Now this tree was one of the "signs" of the second coming and in order to awaken it you had to sing "Praise to the Man" and slowly the eyes of the tree in the closet, as well as the trees surrounding the house, came to life. Their eyes opened, and a smile appeared on their bark (this reminded me of Lord of the Rings). And then all these trees disappeared into Heaven and I went to find my parents to inform them of the signs that were starting to appear. We ended up at Dixie and though I tried to explain everything to my parents they did not believe me. I showed them to key and while they were curious about how I found it, they didn't think that it opened the closet in their bedroom where a tree had been living. They stated, "trees don't grow in closets." So no one believed me that the signs were all appearing. That's when I woke up.


Now I realize that this dream is a very very odd one. I won't disagree with you on that. And it caused me to sleep very poorly (in addition to the fact that Liam did not want to sleep last night). And while the dream was strange I began to think about it from a gospel perspective. How many of us will actually recognize the signs fo the Second Coming? How many of us are prepared to recognize the signs? And when Christ comes again, how many of us will realize that he is among us? Will we even care or will life simply "continue on" for us? Will we doubt our testimonies and our faith when it matters the most? While the dream was a strangely random one, it provoked me to ponder the gospel and the meaning behind my faith and testimony. It made me question my own preparedness. But it also brought me a level of peace I didn't know I was seeking. For some strange reason I felt a deep sense of calm come over me and the impression came to my mind that Heavenly Father knows me. He knows my individuality and he loves me for who I am. I may not be perfect, but he is still there to guide me and watch over me. And in his eyes I am a beautiful daughter of God. Despite all my faults and flaws, he doesn't expect me to be anything other than who I am. Even though I desperately want to be perfect for him and I beat myself up about my shortcomings and mistakes, he still loves me. He has more compassion on my soul than I do!


And I suppose that's what my subconscious was trying to tell me in my insanely random dream. And it has made my heart feel so at peace. And if that's not what my subconscious was trying to tell me, then the simply fact remains that I am simply a crazy lady with an extremely overactive imagination. What say you? :)