Weigh-In-Wednesday...err...Friday

Well I would have updated the blog on Wednesday but the family and I were travelling to see my little sister graduate from high school and I just couldn't get to a computer in all the chaos.

I did, however, remember to weigh myself that day and the funny thing is, I discovered my scale has been weighing me wrong this whole time! I weighed myself a couple times and each time I got a different reading. Go figure. Down at my mom's however, I weighed myself on two different scales and they gave me about the same results.

And they were good results I'll tell you!

According to those scales I've lost 4.8 pounds since last week! Talk about awesome right?

Beyond the weigh-in though, I've been doing some hard core running and I've gotten my 3.8 mile run done in 30 minutes! Progress is awesome right?! I'm pretty happy about it.

Now the next thing on the agenda is to buy a new scale that will tell me the truth. Sheesh.

Let Me Be Brutually Honest:

Bear with me. This is going to be a very honest blog post because...well...I just feel like I need to share a few personal thoughts today.

Let me start by stating that I'm a perfectionist through and through. I know that I struggle sometimes to reconcile my imperfections with the reality that I don't NEED to be perfect in order to be a good person. But, you know, sometimes it's hard to realize that your best is still not THE best. Does that make sense?

Of course this imperfection has led to some critical thoughts about myself. Honestly, I sometimes look in the mirror and cringe at what I see. I'm not particularly accepting of my appearance, specifically my eyes. And if you know me, you know why.

But for those of you who DON'T know or have overlooked, let me clarify.

I have ambylopia and strabismus which prevent my eyes from aligning properly. In basic English, one eye is focused slightly to side while the other gazes straight ahead.

People like to call it a lazy eye.

Believe me when I say that I hate that term.

My problem is that my eyes actually switch off on which one is focusing at a time. One eye focuses too much while the other focuses too little. So I only see out of one eye at a time.

Weird right?

This is a major reason why I don't like MY picture being taken and I really don't like to see pictures of me. I feel awkward and out of place...

Anyway, this has made me extremely self-conscious and judgmental of my appearance. I'd by lying if I didn't say that sometimes I'd look at my beautiful, gorgeous sisters, and wish that I was more like them.

SEE?! Aren't they beautiful?

 They don't have this problem. They're perfect. They're gorgeous and what am I?

'Second rate. Unattractive. Ugly.'-my mind loves to whisper.

Seriously have you met my sisters? They're tall and beautiful and I just look at them and I feel so...so...

plain. And short. Definitely short.

And that's not their fault at all. My sisters always tell me how pretty ALL of us are, including me, and how it's not possible for anyone in our family to believe they are unattractive because our parents are so amazingly good looking (which is true). And Jonathan tells me all the time how I'm the most beautiful person he's ever seen and it makes me smile (and cry a little I admit)

But the doubt still niggles at the back of my mind alway resurfacing at my vulnerable moments.

Their kind words don't change the confused looks I get when I go grocery shopping and the cashier looks behind them to see what I'm looking at. And their kind words don't stop people from asking 'what's wrong with my eyes' or 'what am I looking at' or 'Did you know that you aren't focusing on me?'

The worst is when people look at me and then avert their eyes so they don't have to acknowledge there's a problem.

When I was a child, I even had my peers run away from me, giggling and teasing about my eyes and how I looked so strange.

It does wonders for the self esteem. (heavy sarcasm implied here)

Now this isn't supposed to be a depressing post. In fact, there is a great moral to this story.

These experiences have taught me a lot about myself and about others.

One of these things is that I really really need to stop judging myself so harshly. And I really need to stop thinking that I'm not beautiful in my own way. God created me in his own image. He created my body. And God never creates sometime ugly. All his creations exude beauty and light and joy. I need to love myself and be happy with who I am.

I am beautiful. I need to keep reminding myself of that.

Another thing I've learned through the years is that you cannot understand a person's life merely by their appearance. You don't see all the unique qualities they possess or the trials they've experienced. It is best, then, not to judge, and focus instead on loving others for WHO they are.

I've always taken great comfort in this scripture:

1 Samuel 16:7: "For the Lord said, Look not on his countenance or the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for The LORD seeth not as a man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the HEART."



 

Weigh-in-Wednesday 3

Well another week down! I'll just start by saying this last week did NOT go as planned in the areas of exercise. We had family visiting from out of town and then the dreaded stomach flu made the rounds so getting out and running or exercising at home was nearly impossible for me this week. I did get a few opportunities though, which was good...

Results:

loss of 1.6 pounds! Water consumption is awesome for the body. :)

Mostly, I'm just glad that everyone around here is starting to feel better and that life has calmed down in general. Hudson still has some tummy troubles in the evening but we're hoping things will officially cease--illness wise--today.

So, this next week the plan is to amp up the exercise, eat healthy, and stay motivated.

Wish  me luck!

Stomach Bugs and Visiting Relatives

Well this week has been a hectic one that's for sure! We've had Jonathan's dad visiting since Monday so that ate up a lot of time, though the kids were so excited to see him. They literally climbed all over him.

And consequently gave him the stomach flu.

Poor Hannah was sick on Thursday, which was her pre-school graduation so she didn't get to stay too long for that. She did, however, bring flowers to her teachers the next day which was nice. And alongw it her, Ducky was horribly sick all night. We were up all night and the poor little guy finally fell asleep around 7.

Then on Friday, Liam and Huddy both started getting sick. Hudson had the worst of it and is only NOW starting to feel better. Liam, thankfully, had a mild case.

And then at 4 in the morning, after spending the evening taking care of sick babies and a fussy infant, it was my turn to embrace the porcelain throne...sigh...I hate the flu.

Today, though, I'm grateful that we've truly had a day to rest. The kids are starting to feel better and I'm getting over this yucky bug. THANK GOODNESS.

So hopefully I'll update more this week with pictures and everything.

Comparisons

I'm going on 21 hours of no sleep (sick babies will keep you up) and I've been doing a lot of thinking. Now, whether such thoughts are coherent to you dear readers I cannot say, but nevertheless I thought I'd share them with you.

Here's a quick question:

How many times a day do you comapre yourself to others around you? Whether it be materialistic items you lack, issues with body image, relationships or a plethora of other things, how many times do you stop and consider yourself to be something inferior or lacking?

I know that I do that.

In fact I just did that a few minutes ago and as a result this post popped in my head.

I realized as I noted my thoughts straying towards comparing myself to others that I am not who I compare myself to. That person I see has not been through what I've been through. That person has not experienced my life and therefore cannot understand the changes I've gone through.

So you see it's rather unfair of us to compare ourselves to other people because we're all different and as such we all experience different things and react in different ways. We cannot and should not take our limited scope on the world and subscribe our personalities, body image, etc. to a single defined mould. Instead, we need to understand our differences, limitations and obstacles that hinder us and embrace who we are (flaws and all) and work towards being our best selves and not someone else.

Does that make sense?

Weigh-in-Wednesday 2

Well! Today is weigh-in-Wednesday around here and I just got back from the scale.

Now, the results.

Sadly, I didn't lost any weight this week. *cue pouty face*

But, after the initial disappointment ebbed away, I've been doing some thinking. Yes I've been exercising consistently (though I'll bump that up this week as well) but what I've been missing out on is a good night's sleep! I know from my research that getting a good night's sleep is essential to helping your weight loss. Granted that's hard when you have a little baby who has been sick for a few days (ear infections are the worst!) so I'll make a goal to make sure that I'm getting the rest that I need during the day if I cannot get it at night. I'll also make sure to eat something for breakfast, which isn't something I normally do as well. I know I know breakfast is the most important meal of the day...I get it! I'm working on it I promise! I even went to the store and got some delicious greek yogurt with granola. That's good right? On top of that, I'll increase my water intake (I've been a bit lax this week as well) and of course I'll continue to exercise.

So that's the plan! Wish  me luck for a better next week. I'm not going to get discouraged! I'm not going to give up on this! I'm going to work hard to live a healthy lifestyle. Promise!

And who knows, maybe I've just been building up muscle this week? Right? Maybe?

"What do you want for Mother's Day?"

Admittedly, the husband doesn't always have good taste in presents. One year, he gave me a blow dryer for our anniversary.

"You said you needed a new one! I was being practical."

"Yes, because all women want practicality on their wedding anniversary. None of that boring romance to get in the way right? Next year you should get me a vacuum cleaner."

That's not to say his gifts aren't appreciated. In fact, they often bring a smile to my face because I KNOW he's trying to be romantic in his own awkward, confused sort of way. And it's endearing to say the least (and hey, the blow dryer WAS pink so that's a plus right?).

Sometimes, though, the husband hits it out of the park and is the sappy romantic that my idealized mind needs. I'm probably the biggest sap there is. A hopeless romantic through and through and knowing this, the hubs will present me with goofy little love poems and chocolates and roses from time to time (sigh). So it's not all blow dryer anniversaries...

The point, dear readers, is that this year the husband has decided to ASK me what I would like for Mother's Day. It's been a long semester of schooling (I'll detail that in another post) and, according to him, he wants to make sure I enjoy my day. So he asked the question:

"What do you want for Mother's Day?"

And the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized, that there is nothing on this earth I want more for Mother's Day than what I already have. My marriage has produced four beautiful children. Four gifts that are beyond any treasure this earth could offer. Four blessings that are priceless and irreplacable. Four amazing, beautiful children to hug and hold each night. Four little smiles and voices that call me the best thing in the world: MOM.

So, that's my present. For Mother's Day all I want is to spend time with those little creatures who give me the title of Mom, who love to play and make messes and give kisses and cry and fight and laugh and hug. For Mother's Day I want to hold the greatest gifts in my arms and thank my Heavenly Father for sending such amazing, wonderful, beautiful children in my life.

For Mother's Day I want to be a mom.

 

Weigh-in-Wednesday

It's funny, now that I have no homework to do, I have more time to devote to writing...and blogging...and napping (sort of) and that's a weird thing for me! However, for those of you who read this blog (and hopefully enjoy it) it means that I will be updating far more frequently (knock on wood).

Like today's post for instance. That's two days in a row!

Anyway, back to my original thoughts here. For the last few weeks, I've been working to get myself into running. I've always enjoyed it even if it does make my poor little flat feet tender. And, along with this, I've been working to get back into shape and feeling better about my figure. Babies are a blessing, but the baby weight? Er not so much. But that's not the point. The POINT is that I want to be my best self FOR my babies, FOR my husband, and most importantly, for ME. So each wednesday I weigh in. And good, bad or otherwise, I consistently do this. I want to see progress. I want to accept the challenge to better myself. It's kind of fun.

So each Wednesday be prepared to share this experience with me.

Okay, enough blathering, on to results.

This week I've done a myriad of different activities:

Jumping Jacks (the kids thought these were funny)

Crunches

Leg Lifts

Ducky Lifts (it's like lifting weights, but the weight is MUCH cuter)

Running

Dancing

And I consider cleaning the house to be exercise so we're counting it!

And of course I've increased my water consumption and forced myself to eat something for breakfast (not the biggest fan of breakfast you see)

The RESULTS?

Loss of 1.2 pounds! Hooray!

Now let's just keep it up eh? And lay off the oreos...

Spoonerisms:

A spoonerism is a play on words (either intentional or accidental) that mixes words up giving the speaker a sense of being 'tongue-tied'.

Think: Show snovel, sylenol tinus, etc.

Frosted mini spooners: a delicious cereal that comes in a variety of flavors (blueberry, strawberry, and what have you).

So what does this mean for you reader?

Well I've changed a few things on my blog (the address for instance) and anyone who knows me or this family can attest to the fact that we, The Spooners are a crazy bunch who often get tongue-tied or confused (true story). But we're also an amazing variety of personalities, aspirations, thoughts, ideas, and dreams crammed into one family (consisting of a red-headed tall guy, a short blonde girl and four little blondies).

Make sense?

If not, that's okay. You'll find out soon enough just of silly, scatter-brained, and slightly crazy I can be. Just wait...